Mein Herr Obersturmbannführer,
An insidious evil is afoot, sir, yea, I am poisoned even to the very core of my being.
A change has come over me of late, from whence I do not know but this I do know: It chills me to the very bone, the very marrow of the very bone, the very osteoblasts of the very marrow of the very b...well, I think you get the gist of it.
I did not suspect it at first, thinking it a harmless play, a frippery, a nothing. Embarassing, certainly, but something I only indulged in alone. A little obsession, here and there, perhaps a dabble in fanfic.
Herr Obersturmbannführer. I OWN a sonic screwdriver. I BOUGHT THE DVD OF BATMAN BEGINS. Bought, not downloaded. I am becoming.....it sullies my very mouth to say it... a squeaking fangirl.
You must understand, meinherr, before this I merely enjoyed certain manga, characters, serieseseses. It was never like this, never. Oh, what has happened! Why am I using so many commas? Is it a symptom? IT MUST BE!
I can give more no details, I am too fearful. Save me, Herr Obersturmbannführer! Help me regain my impermeable British Manner. I am becoming something terrible, I know not what...something... Amarikhen? The other day, I caught myself "squeeing". Is there some sort of course I can go on, some retreat in the deepest, darkest Cotswolds I can repair to to seek englisghtenment...?
But too late, it comes! Oh, the Horror, Horror, Horror! The four-eyed child! He shall not have me! I'm am hurling myself out of the window as I write!