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I Beseech You, Great Mr. Mitts! Assist My Curses!

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Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 07:02 pm
Dear Sirs/Madams (all right, mostly madams)

I am sure we all agree intensely and fervently with Our Most Holy Lord Mittzen's opinions R.E. Hellsing lately. I suggest that now is a time to praise his excellence, his cunning wit, his powers of inciteful literary criticism and his general amazingness. All who are with me, say 'Hail Mitts! - All Hail Mittsia! - καμιττσι!' or your personal equivalent.

well..... Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 11:41 am
since no one has done this in a few weeks, please allow me to express my love for mittsy-poo.


i looooovvvveeeee youuuuuuuu!!!!!! ^_^
Current Mood: naughtynaughty
Current Music: i honestly love you -olivia newton-john

Right, you lot.. Jan. 7th, 2005 @ 08:09 pm
What is it with you people wanting pictures of me making people cry?

I am not a puppet for your amusement, people. If I want to create tears, I'm not doing it at your damn behest.

Now Taking Requests... Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 09:20 pm

As you may have heard, the great, hallowed, insufficiently praised Lord Mitts is making the journey to our unworthy United States.  A privileged few,  tool_man , blue_mew , noblesseoblige , myself, and any other peon who attends Ohayocon, will get to meet his Wonderful-ness, in the IRL flesh. 

Although we are overwhelmed by such an honor, we might possess the coherence not to wet ourselves and lavish his Greatness with praise, libations, first-born children, etc.  Maybe.  So, assuming we aren't struck senseless by his greatness, we should do our best to promote worship of his Lordship.

So,  we (hah...you guys don't mind, right?  *prepares to be murdered*)  will be taking requests to request on his Mittsy-ness.  Think of it as the Pope coming to town.  Only better.  And without the paparazzi, bleeding hearts, and funny clothes.  (He said he wasn't cosplaying...)  Want someone to spontaneously combust?  We shall ask him.  Want a cure for halitosis?  It is done.  (He sent me a psychic message  *"I know American healthcare is the equivalent of Chinese human rights, however cleaning your foul mouth 3 times daily might help...")  Want a twinkie blessed?  We'll see...

So ask away, and who knows, one of us saps might actually get drunk enough to do it.

* Not an actual Mittisian quote.  He would have come up with something a gajillion times better.  Honest. 



Edited to say: Of course he might be yanking our respective chains, which in that case...we shall only strive to become more faithful. I swear there is no sarcasm. Really.
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Barbie Nutcracker in the BG. It's my roommate's. Save me.

Let it burn Jan. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:56 am
So, we were obtusely confident enough yesterday to think that watching Gigli would be a jolly good joke. Now I am lost in a void where I constantly question the meaningless of life. And yet, strangely enough, that isn't the question I have now (What is 7 x 6?). My two ponderings now are:

1) Are there therapy groups for this sort of thing?

2) How can I kill Ben Affleck?
Other entries
» Attention Mittsluvers.
There has not been enough Mittsluv recently. Thus, I bring you this;

Express your love for Our Glorious And Most Holy Lord ClariceMitts and give your feeble excuse why YOU were not the one to buy him the paid account. Unless you were the one who did this. In that case, GOOD FOR YOU (you know who you are).

Yrs, The Rt. Hon. Cpt. Urwen. CJD, Kipper Commander of the British Empire.
» R.O.D
This has been quiet for a while; perhaps a question will liven things up.

As I was watching Wolf's Rain last night, and after my asshat roommate proceeded to bitch at me for telling her to clean her leg hair out of the drain, a preview came on the television for R.O.D. It's debut on CN is October 23.

So my question- is it worth fighting to get the television an hour earlier to see whatever hack-job CN has done to R.O.D.?
» I beg your indulgence, Mr. Mitts...
I have failed in my quest to never leave the house and am facing lunch with a rabbi among other horrors.

There are several questions I'm dreading, but the main one is: What if someone asks me what my hobbies are?

I suppose there's always the honest answers:

"I write pornography on the internet." or perhaps "I indulge my love obsession for a dignified yet sexy anime character who kills ghouls with wires."

Then again, maybe I should just lie? I could say I have an interest in obscure eighteenth-century female British writers. It's been years since I indulged but the chances of a Sarah Fielding fan showing up and calling me on it are slim. (Well, there's also the fact that it would be as pretentious as the fact that I'm stating it now, but that might have an advantage?)

Please share your wisdom?
» Tales Of Mystery And Terror

I was going through the scraps and memorabilia of my exciting adventures through space and time and the myriad worlds in between this morning, and as I did I began to reminisce on my past experiences.

In my hands I turned over the Crystal Foot. Which I found at the same site as the Crystal Skull - after defending the archaelogists from a terrible tribe of man-eating tax-accounts. (Unlike the skull, which fires magic lightning out of its eyes if wielded properly, this quartz foot doesn't actually do anything. It just looks nice.)

Under a stack of magazines I found the shell-casing from one of the bullets that Oswald fired during the Kennedy Assassination. (Snake Gandhi was attempting to use that historical relic to make some sort of mystic Indian holocaust Kali summoning device of terror, but I kicked him in the face and took it.)

I still have the bloodied-bandage that I used to staunch the haemoglobular flow that oozed from William Shatner's head after he and I took on the creators of, 'the nearly a hit cartoon show but wasn't because the men from UNIT found out that it was going to be used to call up evil from beyond the stars', Captain Cthulhu And The Star Spawn.

And I began to think about those times I didn't take a souvenir; either because I lost it, or because there wasn't a souvenir to take.

So, lackeys, I want you to relate to me your most favourite of my exciting adventures. Remind me of the time I took on an entire Soviet Naval Unit armed only with a kris knife and a pull-out centre-fold of August 1987's "Penthouse". Or maybe when I rescued that bunch of school-children from ANTI-SUPERMAN, after he strapped high-explosive to his chest and threatened to EAT THEM. Or that nail-biting situation that developed when Malcolm X's unliving body rose from the grave and attempted to subvert Nicuaragua from the holy and binding light of Catholicism.

The best one will win a prize.

Post them as a comment in this thread. Not as their own post. Otherwise I will be ABSOLUTELY INUNDATED WITH MY LOYAL FAN'S WONDERFUL GRATITUDE AND THOUGHTS UPON MY GOOD SELF (or rather, I'd better be).

AND REMEMBER, DO NOT MAKE UP SOMETHING FOOLISH OR INSULTING - it will only result in terrible atrocities committed upon your fleshy body by ASTONISHING LASER-EYED CYBORGS FROM THE PLANET NEPTUNE.

» Once again I require your vast WW2 knowledge..
What is the little cross thingy that nazis wear on their shirt pockets? The thing that looks sorta like the one on the Red Baron's plane. What did they do to get it, and why do certain people not have it?

Also, who is the laughing blond guy in your icon? It fits you somehow. Most likely the mocking laughter. Or the mod shades.
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